What makes a great parent?
A good parent is a person who strives to make decisions in the most effective interest of the child.
What can make a great parent is not only identified by the parent 's actions, but also the intention of theirs.
A good parent doesn't need to be perfect. Nobody is perfect. No child is perfect either … keeping this in your mind is important when we set the expectations of ours.
Successful parenting isn't about achieving perfection. Though it doesn't imply that we shouldn't work towards that goal. Set very high standards for ourselves first and then the children of ours second. We serve as role models that are important for them.
Top Ten Parenting Tips
Here are 10 tips for a terrific parenting experience, including how to stay away from bad parenting, and be an even better parent.
They are not all that easy or fast.
Not everyone can do them on a regular basis.
Even though some of these might not be 100 % successful, you'll be in a position to move ahead using the suggestions in this parenting guidebook.
#1 BE An excellent Role MODEL
Walk the walk. Do not simply tell the child of yours everything you want them to do.
The best way to teach is to show them.
Human is a special species in part because we can learn by imitation. We are programmed to copy others' actions, understand them, and integrate them in to our personal. Children, particularly, watch everything the parents of theirs do very thoroughly.
So, be the person you want your child to be - respect your kid, demonstrate to them good attitude and behavior, have empathy towards your child's emotion - and your child will follow suit.
#2: Love THEM And Show Through ACTION
Demonstrate the love of yours.
There's no such thing as loving your child a lot of. To love them can't spoil them.
Only what you choose to do (or give) in the title of love may - things like material indulgence, leniency, low expectation, and over-protection. When these items are provided in place of love that is real, that's when you'll have a spoiled kid.
Loving your child may be as easy as giving them hugs, spending quality time with them, having family meals together, and hearing your kid's problems seriously.
Showing these acts of love is able to cause the release of feel-good hormones like oxytocin. These neurochemicals are able to bring us a full feeling of calm, emotional warmth, and contentment; from these, the child, will acquire resilience and not to point out a closer relationship with you.
#3: Practice Kind And Firm POSITIVE PARENTING
Infants are born with around hundred billion brain cells (neurons) with relatively few connections. These connections create the thoughts of ours, drive the actions of ours, shape our personalities, and essentially determine who we are. They're "sculpted", strengthened, and created through life experiences.
Give your child positive family interaction, particularly in the early years. They'll then be equipped to experience positive experiences themselves and also offer them to others.
But if you give the child of yours negative experiences, they will not have the kind of development needed for them to thrive.
Sing that silly song. Have a tickle marathon. Go on the park. Laugh with your child. Allow them to have positive attention. Drive through an emotional tantrum with them. Solve an issue together with a positive mind-set.
These positive experiences create excellent neural connections into your child's brain and form the memories individuals that your kid carries for life.
When it comes to discipline, it appears to be difficult to remain positive, especially when dealing with behavior issues. But it is possible by utilizing positive discipline and avoiding harsh discipline.
Being a great parent means you have to teach your child the morals of what's right and what is wrong.
Setting limits and being constant will be the golden rule to good discipline. Be firm and kind when you set rules and implement them. Focus on the reason for the child's misbehavior. And allow it to be an opportunity for them to find out for the future in a good way, rather than to get penalized for the past.
#4: Be a Safe HAVEN FOR YOUR CHILD
Let the child of yours realize that you'll always be there for them if it is responsive to your child's signals and vulnerable to their needs. Support and accept your child as a person. Be a safe and warm place for your child to explore from and return to.
Kids raised by parents that are constantly responsive tend to have better emotional regulation development, interpersonal skills development, along with emotional health outcomes.
#5: Talk with YOUR CHILD And Help THEIR BRAINS INTEGRATE
Most of us know already the value of communication. Talk to the child of yours as well as listen to them carefully. By keeping an open line of communication, you'll have a better connection with the child of yours as well as your kid may come for you when there's a problem.
But there's another reason for communication. You help your child integrate different parts of their brain, a crucial process in a kid's development.
Integration is akin to the body of ours, in which various organs should coordinate and work in concert to have a trully healthy body. When various regions of the brain are incorporated, they are able to work harmoniously as an entire, meaning less tantrums, much more good behavior, much more empathy, and better mental well-being.
To do that, talk through troubling experiences. Ask your child to describe what happened and how they felt to develop attuned communication.
You do not need to offer solutions. You do not have to have all the answers to be a good parent. Just paying attention to them talk. Ask clarifying questions using words that are simple are going to help them make sense of the experiences of theirs and integrate the memories of theirs.
#6: Reflect on Your own personal CHILDHOOD
A lot of us want to parent differently from our parents. Even those who had an excellent upbringing and a thankful childhood might want to change several elements of the way they were brought up.
But very frequently, when we open the mouths of ours, we speak just like our own parents did.
Reflecting on our own childhood is an action towards understanding the reason we parent the way we do. Make note of things you'd like changing and think of just how you'd get it done differently in a genuine scenario. Try to be mindful and change the behavior of yours next time those issues come up.
Don't quit in case you don't succeed in the beginning. It will take practice, lots of practice to consciously change one 's child-rearing strategies.
#7: Pay attention to Your own WELL-BEING
Parents require relief too.
Give consideration to your own well being to prevent parental burnout.
Oftentimes, things including the own needs of yours or the overall health of the marriage of yours are kept on the back burner when a kid is born. If you do not take note of them, they will become bigger issues down the road. Take time to enhance the relationship of yours with your spouse.
Stressed-out parents tend to be more prone to fighting. Do not be afraid to request parenting help. To have some "me time" for self-care and stress management is crucial to rejuvenate the brain.
How parents take care of the child of theirs mentally and physically will make an impact in their parenting and family life. In case these two areas fail, your child is going to suffer, too.
#8: Do not SPANK, NO MATTER WHAT
No doubt, for some parents, spanking can result in short term compliance which sometimes is a much needed relief for the parents.
Nevertheless, this method doesn't teach the child right from wrong. It simply teaches the child to fear external consequences. The kid is then motivated to stay away from getting caught with inappropriate behavior.
Spanking your child is modeling to the child that he/she can resolve issues by violence. A child who's spanked, smacked, or hit is more vulnerable to fighting with other children. They are much more apt to become bullies and also to use verbal/physical aggression to resolve disputes.
Later in life, they're additionally more likely to lead to delinquency and oppositional behavior, even worse parent child relationships, mental health issues, along with domestic violence victims or even abusers.
You will find a variety of better options to discipline which have been proven to be more effective, such as good discipline (Tip #3 above positive reinforcement and).
#9: Keep Things In Perspective And remember YOUR PARENTING GOAL
What is your goal in raising a kid?
When you are like the majority of parents, you want your child to do well in school, be prosperous, be independent and responsible, be respectful, enjoy good relationships with you and others, be caring and compassionate, and have a happy, healthy and satisfying life.
Though just how much time do you spend working towards those goals?
When you are like the majority of parents, you most likely spend the majority of the time simply trying getting through the day. As authors, Siegel and Bryson, point out in their book, The Whole-Brain child, instead of helping your child thrive, you spend most of time just trying to survive!
To not allow the survival mode dominate your life, the next time you're feeling frustrated or angry, step back. Consider what frustration and anger can do for you or the child of yours.
Rather, look for ways to switch every negative experience into a learning opportunity for them. Even epic tantrums can be turned into priceless brain sculpting moments in case you focus on teaching your child, not attempting to control them.
#10: Take a SHORTCUT Through the use of Findings In Latest PSYCHOLOGY And NEUROSCIENCE RESEARCH
By shortcuts, I do not mean shortchanging the child of yours https://parentinghowto.com/ with tricks. What I mean is to take advantage of what is already known by scientists.
Parenting is among the most researched fields in psychology. Lots of parenting strategies, practices, or traditions have been scientifically researched, verified, refined, or refuted.
For optimum parenting advice for increasing a child and information which are supported by science, here's one of my favorite science based parenting guides, The Science of Parenting.
Using scientific knowledge is of course not really a one-size-fits-all approach. Every child is different. Quite possibly within the best parenting style, there can be a variety of good parenting practices you can choose based on your child's temperament.
A good example is using spanking to discipline. You will find many better alternatives, e.g. redirection, reasoning, time-in, etc. You are able to choose a non punitive discipline method that works ideal for the child of yours.
Of course, you are able to also choose to utilize "traditional" or "old school" parenting styles (e.g. punishing or maybe spanking) and might nonetheless get a "similar" outcome.
Differential susceptibility has found us that children with various temperaments respond to the quality of parenting differently.
Those who are more vulnerable to parenting quality will have much better outcomes under good parenting but even worse outcomes under bad parenting.
Those people who are much less susceptible may "turn out fine" regardless of how tough their parents treat them. Though it doesn't imply those practices are good. These children are merely lucky. They could thrive despite bad parenting, not due to it.
Why take a chance with sub par parenting practices when you can use well-researched, better ones?
The value of parenting cannot be underestimated. Taking science based parental advice may not be the simplest way to parent. It may require much more work on your part in the short term but can help you save lots of time and agony in the long term.
Final Thoughts On Parenting
The good thing is, that although parenting is difficult, it is additionally really rewarding. The bad part is the rewards typically come much later than the hard work. But in case we try our best now, we will ultimately reap the rewards and have absolutely nothing to regret.
To Happy Parenting!